What if...Your Defects Are Actually Your Assets?

Infusions of Faith

"Here's my story: I narrowly missed losing it all." Psalms 73:2 -The Passion Translation (TPT) 

"Yet, in spite of all this, you comfort me by your counsel; you draw me closer to you. You lead me

with your secret wisdom. And following you brings me into your brightness and glory!"
Psalms 73:23-24 TPT

I have accumulated stories in my life, a collections of experiences stowed away in my memory. Some stories bring light and life instilling joy, like the completion of college, baptism and renewal of faith, and winning athletic victories donning trophies of skill and teamwork. Other stories flow with great passion, like the first time I held my newborn baby, when I gave my daughter away at her wedding, and when I looked into my partner's eyes and found deep wells of love. We all have our stories. I know you can relate. 

I have other stories that pour with pain, struggle, fear and despair - the shadows in my life. I do not like to think or talk much about these. But these are every bit my important experiences, too. The thing about stories is that they bore into your soul and drive behavior - my interactions, feelings and thoughts - whether or not I'd like them to. Research confirms this. Often, it is good to contemplate the stories I believe, to update my memory files, and to change my programming, so to speak.

Last week an automatic update began in my memory file before I could click 'update later.' I found myself pondering stories of defects in my personality as my brain "defragged" like an old computer,  reorganizing, reducing and reassigning stories to an appropriate perspective. And then Holy Spirit spoke, "What if your defects are actually your assets?" 

This question started my curiosity rolling. How would this impact my silent thoughts, my inner storyteller? It was like slamming on the brakes and hydroplaning across a freeway. That's where I landed, on a FREE WAY. I had a change in perspective, a shift in awareness, a fissure of joy breaking through my story line. Today, I see redemption in others' side eye, in a workplace miscommunication and at familiar roadblocks along the path towards greater freedom and maturation.

Before running a negative story line about your defects for a hundredth time, recognize you may need to update a perspective or tweak some programming. For example, it may not be that 'you always take the hard road' or 'you lack direction.' It could be a divine stop as you wait for alignment since you don't know what to do. It may not be that 'you don't express your emotions well' or 'you are such a crybaby.' It could be that you have the ability to be reserved in a confusing situation, or you are empathetic and thoughtful towards others. What one deems a defect can be an asset in another circumstance. It is a poor choice to be declare the ending before the last sentence is written in your story.

Think About It
Have you sidelined yourself in an area of your life that you have deemed defective? Think about where you might need a program update? Awareness is key to further discovery.

Instead of being defensive or sensitive about your "defects," can you get curious about how you might see defects as assets?

Recognize you are an asset, created to be loved and treasured no matter your "defects."

Moral character and personality traits are different, though they both can be categorized as faulty or defective. A person can make a decision to change poor character, while personality traits evolve.

Key Insights
God, alone, judges and defines defects and assets...and he does so at the end of our story.

Experiences happen, they don't define. (Say it again...)

Many times what is seen as a defect or asset is situational, so neither become hard facts to strictly embrace.

The world is enthralled with stories we can learn from. Don't just repeat them, learn from your own custom story lines.


Resources

How Stories Can Change Behavior: 

Inky Johnson Story: Your Story Matters

Chinese Proverb: Maybe so, Maybe not, We'll see.

What if...Control is an Illusion?

Infusions of Faith 

I know, O LORD, that a man’s way is not his own; no one who walks directs his own steps.  Jeremiah 10:23 (BSB)

You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body”  1 Corinthians 6:19–20, ESV

So, what is "illusion of control?" In the 1970's Ellen Langer, a professor at UCLA, conducted a series of research studies. She observed people acting in ways that were not supported by the evidence. They believed that situations would work out in their favor even though they did not have the influence or ability to make things move in the direction they desired.  From these studies she coined the phrase, "illusion of control."

"Illusion of control is the tendency for people to view themselves as having more control and influence over situations that they have no control over." www.alleydog.com

Recently I have had to deal with this issue. I am not proud to say this but, when I am stressed, I become moody and tend to distract myself by entertainment. I tend to pull into myself and get grumpy and can have mass attitude over small things. Jill was honest enough to challenge me and let me know that my actions were hurtful and communicated a level of selfishness. I would like to say that my initial response was the perfect response. Needless to say, it wasn't. After a few minutes of "intense fellowship," we began to get to the heart of the issue. I was frustrated with a few things at work. I also discovered that I was dealing with being dissatisfied with certain areas of my personal life. This is all normal stuff that we go through. I also discovered that I was taking the responsibility of dealing with all of this onto my own shoulders. I felt like I had to control the outcome and work out a solution on my own. As a result, I had drifted from praying about my issues to trying to work out my issues. Stuff was so in my face that I forgot to spend time talking to the one who orders and knows my steps. I was trying to create my own way and was left carrying the full weight of my own plans. I realized that I had an "illusion of control" issue.

If we look closely, we can find many instances where we believe we have more control than we really do. Parents try to protect and hover over children only to see them drift away. Spouses demand their rights, only to have their expectations ignored. Businesses roll out new plans only to see the market shift drastically. Plans are made about the future only to see everything come to a complete halt. The illusion of control.

What is a solution?  

I recommend getting back to the basics. Remember that you are not your own. You have been purchased by the sacrifice of Christ. As a result, you don’t have to try to figure life out on your own. God is waiting for you to invite him into the conversation and situation. He is a rewarder of those that believe He is, and those that diligently seek Him.

Think About it

What areas of your life are you trying to control by working your plan instead of seeking God’s best for you through prayer?

    Take some time to invite God into your situation. Don’t tell him how you want him to fix your situation. Just bring the situation to him and listen and receive his plan for your situation. Enjoy his presence and he will provide your solution.

Key Insights

I can control my decisions, not the outcome.

Because I am God’s, He is responsible for the provision.

Enjoy God’s presence and he will provide your solution.

Prayer reminds us that Control is an Illusion

Resources

Defining "Illusion of Control" 

It’s important to remember that control in our lives is often illusory.

How Pray Exposes the Illusion of Control

Illusion of Control:  Kung-Fu Panda Style!

What if...Suffering is Necessary?

Moon Touched by MLG

Infusions of Faith

"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." - Romans 5:3-5  (ESV)

In February of 2014, I was sitting on the side of the road screaming at the roof of my car in agony. I had just hung up the phone receiving the news that my father had passed away. The day before, I was in Houston, beside his hospital bed having that last conversation. He was intubated and could not speak, but he could communicate in his own way. I said my goodbyes and knew that would likely be my last time to touch, kiss, and hold him. I walked away with regret, unfinished conversations, fractures in the relationship, and questions. This was my personal suffering.

Suffering. It comes in many shades and textures. None of us are immune or have an exemption from suffering. It has many sources: financial hardships, abandonment, abuse, rejection, illness, betrayal, death. With all this pain and agony, it's not unrealistic to ask, "How can we find anything good in these circumstances?" I honestly don't know how it is possible. I just know that I have suffered and I am still standing. I can also attest to the truth of the Romans passage.

Paul tells us in Romans 5 that there is a progression in the life-cycle of suffering. It would be almost impossible to see anything good coming from suffering if we were not able to also see, as Paul points out, that we have been doused and drenched in an outpouring of God’s love. It is as if God’s love protects us from the scorching heat of suffering. It does not prevent us from going through the flames of suffering. Nor does it carry us to the end of the flamed-filled path. We have to endure the weight and pressure. However, as we travel along the path and realize that we are still standing, it can build character. Character in God's economy is best understood in the example of Jesus.

You may ask, "Why is suffering an important part of building character?" In the midst of suffering we come face to face with what we really believe. In suffering we cast off images, facades, and the empty things propping us up. Suffering demands that we eliminate the unnecessary. I believe it is important because suffering calls our bluff, "do we follow Christ's example or do we make our own way?" Just as Christ learned obedience through what he suffered (Heb. 5:8), we will travel a similar path that leads to a decision: your way or God's way. This was the choice Jesus was faced with. He wrestled with the decision but ultimately he chose God's way. As a result he could face the shame of the cross, and he created a hope for all mankind.  

What shame must you face? What issues from the past, a current dilemma, or future challenge must you face? Choosing God's way provides a hope and a future. Paul tells us that if we endure, our character will be changed and this change in character will lead to hope. A hope that sees the suffering and is reassured that God is with us. He is a God who keeps his promise to never leave or forsake us (Deut. 31:8).

However, I must point out that this cycle only exists in the context of a relationship with Christ, through Christ, and by the power and work of the Holy Spirit. Without these relationships, suffering has no meaning and no purpose. And your character is shady and you may have no or false hope. 

What if suffering is necessary to show us that God is in us, empowering us, and growing us to be more like Christ through the act of suffering? Since that day in 2014, I have walked through this cycle of suffering differently. I am a witness that God is faithful and ever present. I know that I have a hope and a future.

Think About It

1. Perspective matters. Are there experiences of suffering that you have left you bitter and angry with God and others? If so, can you reexamine those experiences in light of Romans 5:3-5?
2. How has God matured or grown your character as a result of what you have suffered?

Faith Insights

• God’s grace carries us through times of suffering.
• Suffering can produce hope.
• Love doesn’t eliminate suffering; Love is the reason we are not alone in our suffering. 

Resources

John Bevere: Even Jesus had to Learn Obedience

John Piper: The Great King's Wine


Dr. Tony Evans: God uses Suffering

What if...Pursuing your purpose blinds you to God's promises?

Titled: Journey Begins, Photo by MLG

Infusions of Faith

"Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalms 37:4 (NIV)

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well."  Matthew 6:33(NIV)

Purpose. We all have one.  Don't we?   We tell ourselves that we must have a purpose, especially since we are encouraged to search for it and are told we are incomplete without it.  How many times has the question been thought or spoken, "What is my purpose?" How many lives have been ended because life felt devoid of purpose?  I firmly believe that purpose can be a hard taskmaster pushing us beyond our limits, and a poor pay master, often being discovered to have made promises that it could not afford to pay.

But what if, we are off about this search for purpose.  What If....Pursuing your purpose blinds you to the promises of God?  What if our purpose is found in the promises of God?  I don't mean the promises rooted in the pursuit of material possessions that rust and decay.  Or the promises anchored to the pursuit of destiny, which is at best a misty picture set way too far into the future to give any sort of certainty.  I am talking about the promises of God that seem so mundane one might think that they can't possibly hold the key to fulfilled purpose.  Could it be that the formulas for fulfilled purpose are so simple its easy to overlook them in the mad dash to find "purpose"?  God has set out formulas that, if followed, lead to his promises, which in turn lead to your purpose.  Formulas like:

Delight + focus on God + yielding of self to God = desires (Purpose) being fulfilled

Seeking first + (God's Kingdom + God's Righteousness) = Added things (purpose) to you

 I am convinced that you can rest in your purpose if you pursue the promises of God. THE LORD IS NEVER SLACK CONCERNING HIS PROMISE... (2 Peter 3:9).   The loving father who wants all people saved, is the same loving father who wants to give his children good things (Matthew 7:11). I believe God wants us to fulfill our purpose.  Why? A fulfilled purpose is a good thing.  However, a purpose pursued above the promise can become a stumbling block and the source of bondage. Pursuing the promises of God should lead to rest not worry, anxiety, sleepless nights, etc.  One might ask, how do we enter into the rest as we pursue the promise?

Shae Bynes, the founder of Kingdom Driven Entrepreneurs (KDE)* and author of the book, "Grace over Grind" provides an answer.  She challenges her readers to move from a life of grind (work) to a life of grace (rest).  She encourages readers to truly trust God for every detail of our businesses and our lives. Why,  because rest is a promise.  If we are in the promise (rest) we will always find the purpose. In essence she encourages the believer to pursue GOD as your purpose and he will add to you: business strategies, divine appointments, favor with clients, unexpected benefits, boundaries in family, less stress, success redefined, and a fulfilled sense of identity and purpose.  The same applies for our personal life.  Pursue rest and God will work things out for our good.

So as you move forward from here, I challenge you to stop and ask," Am I pursing God's promises before pursing my purpose?  The answer to this question might be the start of a journey that transforms your life.

Think About It

Are you pursuing your purpose above pursuing God?  If so, stop, repent, and start moving in your rest and promises.

This week, let's apply the formulas and see how God responds to your act of faith.

1. Delight + focus on God + yielding of self to God = desires (Purpose) being fulfilled

2. Seeking first + (God's Kingdom + God's Righteousness) = Added things (purpose and destiny) to you

Key Insights:

We must never confuse pursuing success with pursuing God. 

Pursuing purpose should never blind you to obedience.

Without obedience you can never access the promise.

Pursuing God changes our heart into a heart of obedience.  

A heart of obedience will lead us to our true purpose.

The promise is rooted in God's character.

* Visit:  https://kingdomdrivenentrepreneur.com