What if...Control is an Illusion?

Infusions of Faith 

I know, O LORD, that a man’s way is not his own; no one who walks directs his own steps.  Jeremiah 10:23 (BSB)

You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body”  1 Corinthians 6:19–20, ESV

So, what is "illusion of control?" In the 1970's Ellen Langer, a professor at UCLA, conducted a series of research studies. She observed people acting in ways that were not supported by the evidence. They believed that situations would work out in their favor even though they did not have the influence or ability to make things move in the direction they desired.  From these studies she coined the phrase, "illusion of control."

"Illusion of control is the tendency for people to view themselves as having more control and influence over situations that they have no control over." www.alleydog.com

Recently I have had to deal with this issue. I am not proud to say this but, when I am stressed, I become moody and tend to distract myself by entertainment. I tend to pull into myself and get grumpy and can have mass attitude over small things. Jill was honest enough to challenge me and let me know that my actions were hurtful and communicated a level of selfishness. I would like to say that my initial response was the perfect response. Needless to say, it wasn't. After a few minutes of "intense fellowship," we began to get to the heart of the issue. I was frustrated with a few things at work. I also discovered that I was dealing with being dissatisfied with certain areas of my personal life. This is all normal stuff that we go through. I also discovered that I was taking the responsibility of dealing with all of this onto my own shoulders. I felt like I had to control the outcome and work out a solution on my own. As a result, I had drifted from praying about my issues to trying to work out my issues. Stuff was so in my face that I forgot to spend time talking to the one who orders and knows my steps. I was trying to create my own way and was left carrying the full weight of my own plans. I realized that I had an "illusion of control" issue.

If we look closely, we can find many instances where we believe we have more control than we really do. Parents try to protect and hover over children only to see them drift away. Spouses demand their rights, only to have their expectations ignored. Businesses roll out new plans only to see the market shift drastically. Plans are made about the future only to see everything come to a complete halt. The illusion of control.

What is a solution?  

I recommend getting back to the basics. Remember that you are not your own. You have been purchased by the sacrifice of Christ. As a result, you don’t have to try to figure life out on your own. God is waiting for you to invite him into the conversation and situation. He is a rewarder of those that believe He is, and those that diligently seek Him.

Think About it

What areas of your life are you trying to control by working your plan instead of seeking God’s best for you through prayer?

    Take some time to invite God into your situation. Don’t tell him how you want him to fix your situation. Just bring the situation to him and listen and receive his plan for your situation. Enjoy his presence and he will provide your solution.

Key Insights

I can control my decisions, not the outcome.

Because I am God’s, He is responsible for the provision.

Enjoy God’s presence and he will provide your solution.

Prayer reminds us that Control is an Illusion

Resources

Defining "Illusion of Control" 

It’s important to remember that control in our lives is often illusory.

How Pray Exposes the Illusion of Control

Illusion of Control:  Kung-Fu Panda Style!