To Be Free...To Die Free

 Infusions of Faith 

To Be Free …. To Die Free                                                    

Romans 8:1-3 (GW-God's Word Translation)

So those who are believers in Christ Jesus can no longer be condemned. ² The standards of the Spirit, who gives life through Christ Jesus, have set you free from the standards of sin and death. ³ It is impossible to do what God’s standards demand because of the weakness our human nature has. But God sent his Son to have a human nature as sinners have and to pay for sin. That way God condemned sin in our corrupt nature.

The challenge with writing is that there is a temptation to take the easy way out and move towards surface or superficial writing. It feels like I am drifting towards that shallow water, safe ground. So, I am challenging myself to be authentic, transparent and open right now.

It hurts to come face to face with my own shortcomings. It’s especially hard when I have been conditioned by life “to put my best foot forward” and to “keep up a good front.” Can I be honest?  I wrestle with being insecure.  I have tons of self-doubt and worry about what others think about me.  I get hypersensitive and defensive when I am challenged on personal areas that I am uncomfortable with.  I deflect questions that make me feel uneasy. I rebuff others who try to get too close to a sensitive area.  I will argue a point only because I don’t want to be wrong. Mind you, I don’t do all these things at same time, however, I pull these tricks out my bag far too often.

Without fail, every time I use one of these tactics from my defensive arsenal, I battle guilt and feelings of self-condemnation.  Another one of my issues is that I can be hard on myself: I can show grace to others but miss the mark with myself. For many that know me, this may seem out of character. But I deal with these struggles when the lights are off, when I am trying to make sense of certain interactions within my heart, between others around myself. 

Jill, my wife, is often on the receiving end of this blowback from my personal struggles.  She is closest and safest, so she often gets the worst of my actions when I’m struggling. I don’t share this as a badge of honor, I share it because I believe I am not alone in this struggle.  Many times, I don’t hear about these issues from others and it seems like everyone has a pristine life with few challenges.  However, the divorce rates, suicide rates, counseling rates, and many other indicators tell me that I am not alone.

“What do we do? Where can we go? I don’t want to be like this! I don’t want to lash out! I want to do better!” I say this frequently enough. “Who can help me? Who can save me from myself?” Does this sound familiar to any bible readers out there?

You may not speak up, but the Apostle Paul did! Yes, there is an answer! The last few verses of Romans 7 (vs. 24-25) and the first few verses of Romans 8 (vs. 1-11) provide us with answers for these issues. I found out I really do have a split personality: my spirit-mind serves one master, and my fleshly desires and defenses serve another.

We (I) have a choice to make. We can continue to bounce back and forth between our emotions that lash out or we can choose a more godly and stable way. According to the scripture above, “Because of the standard of the spirit, (I) can walk in the freedom that Christ Jesus paid for. I must stop acting as if I have to be controlled by my feelings and start controlling my feelings by walking in my newfound freedom.

My mind is free. My emotions are free. I am not held captive like I sometimes want to believe. I can choose how I will respond, but first I must choose to recognize that my freedom comes with a cost. The cost is my will, my pride, my pain, my past, my present, my future, my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my desires, my everything. Freedom isn’t free. Jesus paid for it, but I must walk in it.

Frankly, my temper tantrums and immaturity are directly related to my refusal to accept Christ as Lord and Savior. The Lord saved me from myself, but really my flesh keeps trying to redefine me on its terms – to make me acceptable in my own way. There is nothing in me that is acceptable, because of sin. Not my intellect, my gifts, my looks, my courage, my reasons, my justifications. When you’re talking about the sin-sick soul of man, nothing is worth more than having Christ and His life-giving spirit living through you or me.

Through this blog, I suppose what I am asking myself, “Will I let Jesus truly live as Lord through me?” He has my “YES!” But that “Yes!” means I must die to anything else but His will. Will you join me in my death march to freedom?  I submit to Your will, God, and relinquish my own.  Let’s die free together. 

 

Key Themes

--Facing your struggles is better than a facade.

--If you have trusted to Jesus to do what your sinful nature can’t, your freedom is secure.

--If you haven’t trusted Jesus’ help, the great exchange, in faith yet, you can do that right here.

 

Resources

--Talk to God in prayer:

“God help me to believe you are for me, you are here with me, and that I can trust you to rescue me. Please change me, my heart, my direction. Forgive me for the wrong I’ve done and help me to walk free. Give me the patience and desire to live differently. I ask for your spirit to live in me, in the name of Jesus Christ who gave Himself for my freedom--Amen.”

--Read, perceive, process and believe - Romans: chapter 10, verses 9-10

--Read, perceive, process and believe - II Corinthians chapter 5, verse 17